Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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