apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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