I skipped work to stalk him.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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