he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
