Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
