My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
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She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.