You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
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Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....