I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
