i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize