and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
