I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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