i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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