I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize