You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
