if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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