I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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