So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
