So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need to calm my uterus...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
