it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
