We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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