and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
