You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
