ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
