You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
