And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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