No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
