I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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