8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
