I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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