In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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