i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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