ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
