with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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