Jerry, you need to find god
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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