In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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