my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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