you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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