i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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