Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
