The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
