if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just sucked dick on a ferry
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
