Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
