no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
