You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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