So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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