im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
