were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
