no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Farmville is her only friend.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
