just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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