dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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