I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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