She's JV to your varsity
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
