I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
