and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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