FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
