I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
