By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
