what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize