I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
