I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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