Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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