Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
