i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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