i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
