If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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